It has been months since I’ve posted. The day before my mom and I were to fly to Cleveland Clinic for her heart surgery, she fell. I was in the room with her but was looking away. I’d noticed her unsteadiness earlier, but at that moment she was leaning against the counter, so I thought her safe and went back to doomscrolling. Then I heard her gasp and looked up to see her falling sideways. She was on the ground before I could reach her.
The fall caused a compression fracture in her back. She couldn’t have the bypass in Cleveland and was sent home after a defibrillator insertion (the fall may have been due to arrhythmia). She has been hospitalized since for fluid buildup in her lungs and was discharged. Likely, this process will continue every four or five weeks until she has either a stent or a bypass, but the risks of surgery are high, and doctors are leery. It is possible that my momentary distraction will cut years from her life. Yes, intention matters, but consequences can be just as devastating as any malice. She does not blame me. I do.
The only prompt I have tonight is to write a list of mistakes and unintended consequences on a piece of paper. Burn the paper and spread the ashes in a pot or in the ground and plant something you wish to grow there. Write a poem for what you hope will sprout.
